


Good Intentions

by devilswreckedchewtoy (AmberFyre)



Series: Surviving The Fall [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood Addiction, F/M, Giveaway fic, Originally Posted on Tumblr, RP verse fic, Season 09 AU, Season/Series 09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-12 00:29:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15983738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberFyre/pseuds/devilswreckedchewtoy
Summary: A lot of angels sustained injuries in The Fall triggered by Metatron's spell. Ezekiel, who had to work to gain Sam's trust after being tricked by Gadreel, had unique damage to her Grace. In the search for something that might possibly heal her they stumbled over an unwanted idea- angel blood.





	Good Intentions

**Author's Note:**

> Giveaway Fic written for implumem for an RP verse based on my Angel Wings verse with her angel Ezekiel. Unbeta'd so any mistakes are my own. As per usual, I own nothing but the story. Originally posted on tumblr.

Sam was starting to get worried.

He hadn’t really liked the idea of angel blood from the moment he suggested it.  He had only mentioned it because they were running out of options and they needed more time to try and find something else.  Ezekiel’s Grace was fading, she was constantly in pain, tired more often than not.  She had been _dying_ before his eyes and he hadn’t been able to come up with any other answer.

He’d been surprised she had agreed to it.

But then, Ezekiel knew she was dying and she hadn’t wanted to give up before they’d exhausted every possible avenue.  It was supposed to have just been about buying time.  Time to find a more permanent solution.  Time to find a way to heal her.  It hadn’t been intended to become something else.

Sam should have known better.

He’d had a brush with demon blood, had dealt with the addiction.  It made logical sense that if demon blood was addictive, angel blood would have been even more so.  Ezekiel had even pointed it out at the beginning.  Neither of them had been entirely comfortable with the idea.  But they’d been running out of time and neither of them could come up with a better option.

He still should have known better.

At least they hadn’t had to find another angel to try and convince to go along with this idea.  They could keep it between the two of them.  For all Sam still had moments of disorientation when the reality of him being an angel was so forcefully shoved at him, he was grateful for it in this instance.  His blood worked, which he found ironic in so many ways.  Once a demon blood junkie, now he was an angel blood supplier.  His life was weird in the extreme.

In the beginning, Ezekiel had been careful, only taking the barest minimum.  Enough to keep her going, keep the pain at bay, and give them time to look for other answers.  And Sam, knowing well how these things could spiral out of control, was just as careful, if not more so.

Though for more reasons than just the addiction angle.

But as time went on, and they continued to run into dead ends, Ezekiel wasn’t quite as careful.  And Sam started to get worried.  Really worried.  Because he was certain she didn’t need it as often as she was starting to ask for it.  At least, not to sustain her Grace.  And he was torn.  He knew he shouldn’t let her have more.  He knew he should be firm about it.  He _knew_ what a blood addiction was like.

He also hated to see her in pain.  He also remembered what it had been like when he’d been craving a hit.  He could see the signs on Ezekiel and it left him conflicted.  This started out as a way to give them more time.  It started out as a way to keep her alive so they could find an answer.

It was quickly becoming something else, and Sam didn’t know how to stop it.  And _that_ scared him.

It scared him because he wasn’t sure what withdrawal would do to her.  Because he knew how damn painful it could be.  Because he knew he’d have to lock her down if it came to it.  Because they still hadn’t found a way to heal her Grace and without it she would die.

It also scared him because he didn’t know if what he was feeling for her was real, or the result of some kind of weird blood bond, since it was his blood she was drinking.  He just didn’t know, he didn’t have anyone he could ask.  He and Ezekiel were dealing with this as best they could, and Sam knew it was still not good enough.

Because it was clear that Ezekiel was hooked.  Sam knew it.  He could see it.  And he hated it.  But to tell her no would leave her strung out and hurting.  He didn’t want her in pain, couldn’t stand to see it.  And until they could find a way to actually heal her, telling her no was a death sentence.  And the both knew it.  She thrown it at him the last time he tried to refuse her.

‘ _Do you want me to die, Sam?  Because that’s what you’re doing by saying no_.’

That had hurt.

A hell of a lot.

And it wasn’t like her.  Ezekiel didn’t say or do things like that.  Not normally.  Even if part of it was true as things stood right now.  It’s still not the kind of thing she would have said to him.  Not like that.

So yeah, Sam was worried.  He was more than worried, he was scared.  Because he wasn’t sure how to break this cycle without killing her until they found a way to heal her.  But it was getting harder to try and find a way to heal her, because she was more focused on him and his blood.  And there was a part of him, horrified as he usually was over the thought, that liked that tie between them.  That worried if she was healed completely she wouldn’t have any reason to stay around him.  That she’d leave.

He hated himself for even having that thought.

But it was there.  And it complicated the whole mess even further.  Sam didn’t know what to do.  All he knew was that he was in too deep now.  He knew he wouldn’t tell her no.  He would never tell her no.  He wouldn’t be the one to sign her death warrant.

And maybe that would be the thing to damn them both.


End file.
